should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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