I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
