Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
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