I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
