when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize
