Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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