Your tits are I can't wait for
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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