I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
