Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
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i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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