..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
