Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
