between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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