Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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