its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
