My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
