Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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