cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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