I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
