he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
