remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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