my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
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After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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