those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
