I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
The feeling are messing with the penis
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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