check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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