The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
where are my eyebrows?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
