apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
