I'm going to rape someone's good day.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
We need to get me chipped asap
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Please don't give away my fajitas
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
