I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
