I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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