Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
my being single is dangerous.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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