i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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