I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
