I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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