The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
