I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
