Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
