I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Randomize
