Is it normal to miss your booty call?
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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