do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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