she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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