dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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