dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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