weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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