wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
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It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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