my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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