is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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