got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I party with great urgency now.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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