i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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