Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
