it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
