I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
