so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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