my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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