I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
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Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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