I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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