I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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