Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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