Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
nutella sex= disaster
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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