I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Found the puke drawer
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
