Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
